Thursday, July 02, 2009

Till the sun rises

What is it about love that drives us to it like moths to the lamp? Perhaps the metaphor is a bit too negative, too harsh on the beauty that is love, but apt nonetheless for there are always two sides to every coin. Why is it that we can't just be friends, not be bound by crazy emotions and sentiments, or by expectations and assumptions? Why must we insist that there be something more than a deep and resounding sense of friendship, of a sense of lifelong companionship, for arelationship to truly mean something to us?

Love isn't all it's made out to be; it's so much more. Love is a strange emotion. When one thinks of it, a conflicting multitude of thoughts arise. Love is pitiful and marvelous, empowering and parasitic. It is hideous; it is beautiful. It is weak and strong at the same time. Love has started wars, ended wars, caused the depression and death of millions, as well as caused uncountable others to be thrown to the heights of ecstasy. So is love truly such a pure, lovely thing? I think it is a mixture of both. Just as nothing is purely good or evil, so is love. When you are in love, it's like every morning is the sunniest and the brightest in the history of mankind. The flowers never smelt so sweet, the birds never sang so beautifully, and the breeze never blew so pleasantly on your cheeks. The rains never came down in such melodious drizzles and the heat, well it never really mattered, did it?

But when you find the doors of love closed onto your face, even Hades would be a more pleasant place than life. Persephone has to spend just six months with Hades in his dominion and yet when she meets Demeter in the spring, her soul has paled and diminished; imagine then living such a life day in and day out, not knowing when deliverance would come from this pain. You want to yell out, to scream, to cry, but the tears will not flow, the sounds will not burst forth. It is the punishment the Fates entailed for your heart, a punishment for its impudence in presuming that it may seek love where it had no right to do so, for its audacity to dream of a life of its own creation free from the dictates of the Fates. Your heart may burst with the deluge of emotions that it contains, but it must not ever let loose the flood waters.

In such turbulent times, the memories of the past prick and pain, and yet they soothe and calm. They mock the Fates and their punishments, the pain and the suffering, and serve to remind us of our courage and our belief in our self, that we too are worthy of some one's love and affection, that friendship need not always be the final frontier, that someday someone will feel the same love that we feel for them. They implore us to stay true to our heart, to not fail it when it needs us the most, to caress each memory of a love bygone like it were another life within us. They foretell that one day this night will get over, and the sun will rise again. Till such day, they offer us only their comforting support as lights in the darkness.

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