An Ode to Friendship - II

Aristotle says that friendship is one soul dwelling in two bodies. One wonders then if one has more than one friend, does it mean one is constantly inhabited by a number of discrete and different souls, each dear to us? It is an endearing thought that one is bound to one’s friend(s) by a bond far greater than that of time, for whilst time moves on, the soul is immortal (and my apologies to any skeptics out there).

To my mind, when one befriends someone, one unconsciously gives that person a piece of oneself, a small token of one’s being, a part of one’s soul, and in turn receives, equally unconsciously, a similar token of love and amity. One doesn’t keep such tokens locked away in some armoire in one’s room, or in some bank locker; these tokens simply melt away into our being, becoming one with our soul. When we give away a part of ourselves, our soul experiences a momentary fracture, but on receiving someone’s love, the void is made complete, as if it never existed in the first place. Each soul, each heart is so made up of not just one soul, or of different souls, but of a love shared between multiple souls.

You may opine then how does one differentiate between a mere friend and a lover? To that, I respond, can one really love someone without befriending him/her before? You retort, what about love at first sight? Coming from a culture of multiple rebirths, I imagine souls remember a kindred soul across the ages, and once you befriend a soul, you befriend it for eternity. Coming back to how one differentiates between someone who is merely a friend among other friends, and someone who is primus inter pares, it would seem your heart seeks out this soul more fervently than it seeks the others, drawing closer and closer to its presence however and whenever it can. After all, not all friends are created equal, are they?

Have you ever experienced a gut-wrenching anxiety, a pain in your chest, uneasiness, when you quarrel with a friend? It is little to wonder that one feels such torment; after all, aren’t parts of your soul quarrelling with each other, a sort of civil war, and who would deny that a civil war is anything but painful? When you separate and try to move on, you wrench your soul and cause it to fissure, taking apart that which you no longer hold dear, and receiving in turn that of yours which is no longer held dear. Unlike when you create a friendship, when you give a part of yourself voluntarily, detaching a part of yourself in rage is an act of destruction, a moment that grievously wounds your heart and soul. Such wounds take time and patience to heal, and the healing is rarely if ever painless.

Friends are those who care for us, and who we care for, unbidden and even when we and they would rather no one cared for us. And considering we are one soul, do we wonder why?

The Specter

The darkness fell over him

Like a shroud over a cadaver

His unseeing eyes seeing all

And his silent lips telling countless tales

As he sat there quiet and forlorn

Lost and feeble

His arms trembling on his walking stick

As the cold chilled his arthritic bones

She lay there

Just beyond the great sycamore

Separated from him by death

When nothing could in life

He cursed the tears in his eyes

Those cold pearls of sleet

He cursed the snow that covered her now

For he knew she would hate it so

As the darkness grew

He knew it was time

Time to go, time to depart

He placed the lilies on her headstone again

And slipped into his coffin a few feet away… …

The Autumn Leaves…

I walk along the path

Amidst the red and yellow autumn leaves

Through the mass of gingko and oak

The colors delight my soul

And I remember you…

Some find autumn to be sad

To be reminiscent

Of a decaying before the end

But to my heart they bring hope

Hope that we shall meet again in the spring…

It is raining outside

And everything's so cold and weary

The wind pierces through to the very core

But my heart is warm and content

Because your memories live within…

Can love die or fade away?

Can what lies in my heart diminish

Because you are so far away?

Just as the spring will bring fresh shoots and the sun

So also someday we shall love again…

Till the sun rises

What is it about love that drives us to it like moths to the lamp? Perhaps the metaphor is a bit too negative, too harsh on the beauty that is love, but apt nonetheless for there are always two sides to every coin. Why is it that we can't just be friends, not be bound by crazy emotions and sentiments, or by expectations and assumptions? Why must we insist that there be something more than a deep and resounding sense of friendship, of a sense of lifelong companionship, for arelationship to truly mean something to us?

Love isn't all it's made out to be; it's so much more. Love is a strange emotion. When one thinks of it, a conflicting multitude of thoughts arise. Love is pitiful and marvelous, empowering and parasitic. It is hideous; it is beautiful. It is weak and strong at the same time. Love has started wars, ended wars, caused the depression and death of millions, as well as caused uncountable others to be thrown to the heights of ecstasy. So is love truly such a pure, lovely thing? I think it is a mixture of both. Just as nothing is purely good or evil, so is love. When you are in love, it's like every morning is the sunniest and the brightest in the history of mankind. The flowers never smelt so sweet, the birds never sang so beautifully, and the breeze never blew so pleasantly on your cheeks. The rains never came down in such melodious drizzles and the heat, well it never really mattered, did it?

But when you find the doors of love closed onto your face, even Hades would be a more pleasant place than life. Persephone has to spend just six months with Hades in his dominion and yet when she meets Demeter in the spring, her soul has paled and diminished; imagine then living such a life day in and day out, not knowing when deliverance would come from this pain. You want to yell out, to scream, to cry, but the tears will not flow, the sounds will not burst forth. It is the punishment the Fates entailed for your heart, a punishment for its impudence in presuming that it may seek love where it had no right to do so, for its audacity to dream of a life of its own creation free from the dictates of the Fates. Your heart may burst with the deluge of emotions that it contains, but it must not ever let loose the flood waters.

In such turbulent times, the memories of the past prick and pain, and yet they soothe and calm. They mock the Fates and their punishments, the pain and the suffering, and serve to remind us of our courage and our belief in our self, that we too are worthy of some one's love and affection, that friendship need not always be the final frontier, that someday someone will feel the same love that we feel for them. They implore us to stay true to our heart, to not fail it when it needs us the most, to caress each memory of a love bygone like it were another life within us. They foretell that one day this night will get over, and the sun will rise again. Till such day, they offer us only their comforting support as lights in the darkness.

My best friends' engagement....

Today two of my dearest friends got engaged, and that to each other :) , making the occasion even more special. Those who had seen them first bump into each other 6 years ago knew that something special was going to happen, something lovely was going to come from this meeting, and it feels so great to be vindicated all these years later.

I guess that love is like a fine vintage; the sweetness of the grape, when slowly aged and matured, gives off the beautiful taste of the wine, just as the stroke of lightning one experiences at first sight, with the passage of time, becomes the deep and everlasting affections that one feels for that special someone. Some vintages take a long time to reach their finest point, some mature very quickly, and some never come to fruition at all; but the name of the game is to keep on trying to make that perfect brew, for one's own sake and for the sake of living life as it should be lived.

Seeing two dear friends come together in a bond of hearts, not out of compulsion, but out of a simple desire to love and cherish, fills one with emotions that cannot be described in all the words in the English or any language for that matter. To see the joy on their faces leaves one simply overjoyed for having had the opportunity to bask in the sunshine of their happiness.

Love coming to fruition gives a special glow to the faces of both partners; it's as if the sun shines through their eyes, through their very person. For one moment, you forget your problems, and just lie silently in their warmth, in the cheer that their smiles spread, and somehow everything seems all right, like the Biblical Garden of Eden. One could go on rambling, but such occasions are best understood when personally experienced.

Here's wishing them both a very happy life together! May it be filled with bliss, contentment, and felicity in every walk of life! May all the blessings that the world may have to offer be theirs by right and as is owed to them!

Raju and Nami, this one's for you! 

Review - Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Just back from a screening of Yash-Raj's newest opus 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi'. The movie's a good one, something that you can go and see with your family, without feeling awkward or sheepish at any time. But then, I have always been a sucker for love stories with happy endings, so really not the best person to ask.

I have never been a die-hard fan of SRK; Swades was, to my mind, his best performance so far. His roles, I felt, were too escapist, and at the same time, were catered to the tastes of the NRI populace, to help them associate with a fictional India.
But in RNBDJ, he's done himself justice. His rendition of the simple, sweet and devoted Surinder, madly in love with a woman who says to his face that she could possibly never return that love, is touching and most endearing. He emotes so brilliantly that he brings alive the character. His willingness to do just about anything, just to see her smile and laugh, perhaps appeals to my idea of a romantic person, to a love that transcends all reason and thought. And even when he realizes that she is ready to leave him than to stay all her life with him, his stoicism and willingness to let her go, just so that she may be happy wherever she goes, speaks loudly of a true love, if there is any such thing in the film industry. Perhaps the story was written keeping the adage "if you love someone, let her go; if she comes back, you always had her, if not, you never had her in the first place" in mind.

Anushka Sharma is charming in her debut, so everyone says. Heck, to hell with all this decorum! She's BRILLIANT! Of course, she's a pretty sight to behold, but the hold of her character comes from the innocence and guile that only a debutante could have brought, and perhaps no one could have brought it as effortlessly as her. At times, she manages to steal SRK's thunder with such ease and finesse that one is left in awe.
Many have found fault with the fact that her character doesn't recognize her own husband in the debonair dancing partner; after all, she sees her husband everyday, doesn't she? That's the beauty of it. Taani (her character) has accepted Surinder as her husband, but doesn't find it possible to love him. It's one thing to look at someone, and quite another to see that person; you can look at a person for ages, but you only deign it fit to see into the eyes of the person whom you love. So it was with Taani. When you have never looked into a person's eyes, no matter how many times that person parades himself in front of you, you will never recognize him.

Newspapers may have panned RNBDJ, but if you happen to visit any theatre playing it, it's running to full houses; audiences laugh at the jokes, clap when Surinder wins his little victories, and whistle when Taani makes her delicate and graceful overtures. That, to me, is the mark of a film that has struck a chord. Not every film need strike a high note with everyone; it just needs to set off a rhythm. The symphony will definitely follow.

RNBDJ tells a seemingly fairy story: that you don't need to be a dashing person to win someone's heart. Sometimes, the sincerity of your emotions will pull you through. And this, though a over-romanticised idea, always rings true. Love dwells in the heart, and if the heart rings true, then how can love not come forth? People would call it long-drawn and farcical at points, especially during the sumo-wrestling sequence, but if anything, it just demonstrates the intensity of love a person can feel for another. And when you are in love, when you truly feel for that special someone, nothing is too much. Isn't that how all great love stories go?

The Promise.

I stood there on the porch
Looking at the dark cloudy sky
The moon was hidden
To the plain searching eye.

The breeze was cold
The night quiet as a mouse
My heart was silent
As if it nursed a secret grouse.

It sought the moon,
That pale white orb,
To soften the pain and sorrow,
To deaden the sound of a sob.

And then the moon came forth,
Like a knight in white armour,
And in it my eyes saw reflected
The face of my paramour.

Her gentle face, adorned by the lustre of the moon,
The clouds her soft tresses,
And the stars her eyes,
Twinkling with mirth and joy.

I know somewhere on some porch,
She too stands looking at the moon.
And in the moon, our eyes meet,
Promising to meet very, very soon.

To Love....

My 200th blog! When I started out writing in 2005. on the prodding of a friend, I never quite imagined that I would reach this far. Over time, I have come to enjoy the experience, and have perhaps gained more than I have given. This blog's dedicated to an idea I am most in love with: love.

For someone's who been in love for as long as he can remember, someone who loves being in love just because it makes him feel complete, love isn't just another emotion; it's the very reason of existence. Call me a sentimentalist fool, an impractical and emotional person, but that's the way I am. I alone know how much I have benefited from the love I feel for that special someone, how much I have grown in the past few years, how much my ideas, my beliefs and my views about the world around me have improved for the better. And all this when the love is merely one-sided, unrequited except for the affections of a close friend; imagine then what I could become if I were to receive her love as well!

Some would say that you are a fool and that she could never love you as much as you love her; I say to them, an angel can only be seen with the eyes of a child and the trust you repose in that angel is absolute and unquestioning, just like a child feels for a parent. Some say that it is futile to wait; but I say to them, would you not wait for that special someone with whom you want to spend your whole life? Would you not be ever so patient when she's taking her time to make up her mind, because in your heart, somewhere deep down, you feel that she loves you just as much as you love her? And moresoever, love is the purest and most beautiful when given with free will, without expectation and obligation. When you love just because you wish to love, that is true love.

For me, love is like it's in the fairy tales: a happily-ever after story. And that's the way it should be. Those who claim that their beloved has changed since they married, I wonder whether you really knew them well in the first place. When you love someone, you must feel her every heartbeat, sense her every thought; basically be her alter-ego, her soul, just as she must be yours. A love that is not based on mere attraction or affection, that is founded on a deep sense of devotion, a love far beyond time and age, which encompasses all the quirks and eccentricities of your partner, because even they make him/her seem so much more loveable, now that is true love. And believe me, such a love will last you your entire lifetime; even when you are old and aging, your eyes will still twinkle when they behold her and your ears will yearn to hear her dulcet voice, and she will still blush when you give her a simple red rose.

Love isn't something you can rush into; all the stuff about love at first sight is nice, but love's like a fine wine; it matures with time and patience. The experience is so much more better when you have waited for so long to live it. 

That's all.....

I can only give you love that lasts forever.
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all...

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter's night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore.
That's all,
That's all.

Your Mona Lisa Smile....

As the rain pitter-pattered outside,
And the trees swayed in the wind,
I think of you,
And your angelic smile.

You smile your smile at me,
When I tell you I love you,
You smile again,
When I tell you I could never live without you.

You say nothing, you never do,
You just smile,
You just grin away,
Like a Cheshire cat guarding a secret.

I search for a meaning,
I search for a sign,
One that would tell me of your love,
But you smile away.

And then I realise
The secret behind your Mona Lisa smile.
The love that beats in your heart,
Comes forth each time as your smile.

The Fire Within...

We stand there,
Looking out together into the distance,
The sky is reaching for azure,
The sea is calm,
The sun is setting,
Its flames sputtering out,
In the cool waters of the Bay.

And I feel a feeling of warmth,
A glow that was surreal,
As you put your head on my shoulder,
As your delicate fingers play around with your curls,
Your other arm curls around my arm,
Your hand enclosed in mine.

You are wearing that dress I love,
The white one with the pink flowers on it,
And your tresses are untied,
Blowing in the cool sea breeze,
Filling the air with a fragrance ever so divine,
Like a jasmine blooming in the night.

And then you look up at me,
With those beautiful brown eyes,
Your cheeks rosy,
Like a white flower with just a tinge of red on it,
As we looked in each other’s eyes we knew,
The greatest of oceans couldn’t make our love go out,
Because it isn’t just the heat of the moment,
Because it is a fire that burned within us.

Ode To Loved Ones

In the silence of the world,

I was afraid,

The quiet seemed ever so noisy to me.

And then I heard a faint heartbeat,

Your heart beating for me,

A sweet pleasant sound,

Like a lullaby easy on the ear,

It drove away my fears

And lulled me to sleep

In a slumber ever so pure.

In the darkness of the world,

I was afraid,

The shadows seeming like monsters.

And then I saw a bright light,

Your love overflowing for me,

A beautiful heavenly light,

Like the sun rising in the morn,

It drove away my terrors,

And filled me with new energy,

And a desire to live again.

In the noise of this world,

I was afraid,

The clamour deafened my soul.

And then I heard your dulcet voice,

Your soothing words of reassurance for me,

An angel’s promise that all will be well,

Like a nightingale in the midst of a burnt forest,

It drove away my sorrows,

And made me shout out

Challenges ever so many to the world.

No matter how much I say this,

I could never be able to repay you in full,

So take this as but a part of my gifts,

I love you, and I can say no more.

Musings....

Sometimes you love someone with all your heart. You love her so much that you fear losing her company; that you never want her out of your sight. Every day, when you see her, you realize ever so much just how much you love her, and yearn to love her even more so. Her mere sight makes the sun shine ever so brighter; her laughter is like birds chirping in mirth; her eyes like jewels sparkling in the soft moonlight. You want to pamper her, hold her in your embrace for all time, to kiss her sweet brow and just caress her soft tresses, to blow away the locks which fall on her blushing cheeks, to watch her nose wrinkle up o so sweetly when she laughs.

And yet you fear that she might shrink away from so much love. Love is a strange thing. When it isn’t there, it’s like a vacuum, painless, your body numb to any overtures and sensations. And yet when it’s there, it’s like a tornado of emotions, just wanting to destroy all semblance of normalcy, to make you mad and insatiable for affection. And that is a scary moment for anyone. Anyone could feel suffocated in such torrid environs, and yet one hopes that one’s love is strong enough to overcome such a sensation of reluctance.

Image: Rodin's "The Thinker"

How doth the moon shine this night....?

The moon stands resplendent
In her raiment of silver and gold,
The sweet mistrals blow
Her lustrous brown tresses,
And soft strings of light
Bounce off her curls.

Her face shines beautifully
Like Pallas Athena in Her Parthenon,
Her eyes sparkle
Like emeralds set in ivory,
Her delicate brow calls
For one to be lost in its expanse.

She smiles, ah, that glorious smile,
And her cheeks turn so red,
To shame the most brazen of roses,
The most precious of rubies.
Her laughter, have you heard one
More innocent, more melodious,
That even the nightingale stops
To recollect her tune.

I stand in her light,
Bathed in her glory,
I pray this night never end,
That she never forsake me,
That no cloud ever comes
Between me and her,
That the sands of Time
Flow ever so slow this night,
So that I may gaze in her eyes,
And be lost for all Time, For all eternity……

Poem of The Day - I Love Thee - Thomas Hood

I love thee—I love thee!
'Tis all that I can say;—
It is my vision in the night,
My dreaming in the day;
The very echo of my heart,
The blessing when I pray:
I love thee—I love thee!
Is all that I can say.

I love thee—I love thee!
Is ever on my tongue;
In all my proudest poesy
That chorus still is sung;
It is the verdict of my eyes,
Amidst the gay and young:
I love thee—I love thee!
A thousand maids among.

I love thee—I love thee!
Thy bright hazel glance,
The mellow lute upon those lips,
Whose tender tones entrance;
But most, dear heart of hearts, thy proofs
That still these words enhance,
I love thee—I love thee!
Whatever be thy chance.

- Thomas Hood

Poem Of the Day - The Presence of Love - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.

You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Through all my Being, through my pulse's beat;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.

And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Poem of The Day - A Bruised Reed Shall He Not Break - Christina Rossetti

I will accept thy will to do and be,
Thy hatred and intolerance of sin,
Thy will at least to love, that burns within
And thirsteth after Me:
So will I render fruitful, blessing still,
The germs and small beginnings in thy heart,
Because thy will cleaves to the better part.—
Alas, I cannot will.

Dost not thou will, poor soul? Yet I receive
The inner unseen longings of the soul,
I guide them turning towards Me; I control
And charm hearts till they grieve:
If thou desire, it yet shall come to pass,
Though thou but wish indeed to choose My love;
For I have power in earth and heaven above.—
I cannot wish, alas!

What, neither choose nor wish to choose? and yet
I still must strive to win thee and constrain:
For thee I hung upon the cross in pain,
How then can I forget?
If thou as yet dost neither love, nor hate,
Nor choose, nor wish,—resign thyself, be still
Till I infuse love, hatred, longing will.—
I do not deprecate.

- Christina Rossetti

Poem of The Day - Oh, My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose - Robert Burns

O my love is like a red, red rose

That's newly sprung in June;

My love like the melody

That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonny lass,

So deep in love am I;

And I will love thee still, my dear,

Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,

And the rocks melt with the sun;

I will love thee still, my dear,

While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee well, my only love!

And fare thee well, awhile!

And I will come again, my love

Though it were ten thousand mile.

- Robert Burns

Poem Of The Day - Now Sleeps The Crimson Petal - Lord Tennyson

Now sleeps the crimson petal, now the white;
Nor waves the cypress in the palace walk;
Nor winks the gold fin in the porphyry font:
The fire-fly wakens: waken thou with me.

Now droops the milk white peacock like a ghost,
And like a ghost she glimmers on to me.

Now lies the Earth all Danaë to the stars,
And all thy heart lies open unto me.

Now slides the silent meteor on, and leaves
A shining furrow, as thy thoughts in me.

Now folds the lily all her sweetness up,
And slips into the bosom of the lake:
So fold thyself, my dearest, thou, and slip
Into my bosom and be lost in me.

- Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson

Poem Of The Day - When We Two Parted - Lord Byron

When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold,

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow—

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

Why were thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears.

- George Gordon, Lord Byron