Friday, August 19, 2005

The end of an era!

Yesterday, my great grand mother passed away. And to say the truth, I am sure that she would be relieved. All of 90 years, she had lived her life with the zest and enthusiasm of a teenager. She loved sweets, and sometimes, even stole them when we weren't watching. Her mastery over all affairs, be they related to sports, politics, or plain religion, was simply mind-boggling, especially given the fact that she just had a basic education. Her love for cooking, music, the arts, embroidery and other artistic pursuits was a testament to her genius.

However of late, she was ailing. Her eyes were failing her, her ears had long started to desert her, and after a fall in the first week of August, her memory also began to disappear gradually. She had a chronic cough, something that had the capacity to keep her awake for nights. And yet, she was cheerful. Maybe it was her love for life that sustained her. Maybe it was her love for reading.
When her eyes were so clouded that she couldn't read any more, she was reduced to half. Her time simply wouldn't pass. And often she would say, "My dears, give me leave to go now." And that breaks the heart now.

And yet, I am glad she went without pain, in her sleep, without any suffering. And in that, I praise the Lord. For her death was expected, as is all of ours. That which is born must die, and that which dies, will be reborn. So, her death wasn't a surprise in itself. It is just that we never expected she would go so soon. I cried for just two minutes, and then the tears didn't flow. It wasn't because I have become apathetic. It was because in the end, she was relieved. She would have been pleased to go this way.

As she lay there in the hall, bedecked in a sari her late brother had so fondly given her, and which she herself was fond of, she just seemed to have gone into an eternal slumber, a peaceful rest. In fact, she was so tranquil that it seemed possible that she may get up any moment, with a mischievous smile, muttering, "I was just testing you, whether you people can organise things properly."
Her neatness in life, her zeal for life, its joys, and its pleasures is a continued inspiration for me and my family. To say that we cannot forget her is to quote a cliché, and yet, today I am realising what it means to lose someone close.
In conclusion, I remember her words, when I once had met her, and that I did very frequently.

She said, "I have done so much, I have enjoyed so much. And yet, I am still to do so much. Trust me, I shall do all that I couldn't do in this birth in the next. Trust me."

Amma, I trust you, and pray that you come to my house, so that I can care for you just as you cared for me.

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