To feel the joy of salvation!

In all my 21 years, I have read many books, nay; I devoured them, with the appetite to shame a demon. And today, I stand shamed, for in all this time, I never found it necessary to read the one book that stands apart from all the others, and yet identifies with each and every one of them. I speak, in the most reverential tone, of Ayn Rand’s ‘THE FOUNTAINHEAD’.
The stark presence of the protagonist Howard Roark somehow is so irritating, and yet so calming. His refusal to step down from his pedestal is reminiscent of the courage the Olympians possessed, and yet I would not be so wrong as to say that maybe even they may falter in his company. His personality is like Prometheus, resigned to a doom worse than Hades, and yet determined to do his God-given task with truth and integrity. Yet, although I have termed Roark as the protagonist, there are so many characters with which one empathizes, some in a positive sense, some negatively, but empathizes nonetheless. The most powerful anti-hero, if I be permitted the usage of the term, is without doubt Ellsworth Toohey, who through his calm and composed machinations, travels from being a respected figure to one who merits the hatred and scorn reserved for the most deplorable and abominable individuals in society. Toohey, as one of the characters in the book remarks, bears so much resemblance to his homophones, as in gooey, phooey, etc. That in the end he is only booted out of a comfortable job and no more causes some despair, but one figures that even the villain is deemed to have human rights. The heroine of the book, Dominique Wynand nee Francon, at first comes across as a most irritating and disagreeable person, given to tearing down exactly all that she loves the most, merely for the pleasure of doing so, somewhat like the pleasures of the Marquis de Sade, but as the book progresses, one can only express a most heartfelt admiration, even adulation for her strength of character, for even through the most troubling of circumstances, she never abandons her love for Roark. Her husband, the newspaper tycoon, Gail Wynand, at first seems like the invisible phantom, tormenting the world with his newsprint, a despicable and appalling man. And yet, by the end of the book, one reserves a special affection for him, as a man who has been projected, and who chose to be projected as a villain merely because the world was insensitive to his ideals and sought exactly that which he sought not to give. He gives the world the thrill it seeks, because now he sees himself not as a man of the masses, but a man above the masses. It is only sad that in the end, and I do not commit any heresy for this, for there can be no better end, Wynand must lose his beautiful Muse, but fittingly to Roark.
In all this discussion about the remaining characters, I pray I do not do injustice to my adulation of Roark himself, and even as I write this, I wistfully feel that even if it were to be my intention, I could never do so. For Roark is like the font of all that a man must aspire to: a fanatical devotion to one’s ideals, a seemingly stupid, yet awe-inspiring reluctance to abandon these beliefs, even when one’s very existence is at stake, a detachment from one’s creations in that the creator is entitled to his/her attachment/s only so long as the process of creation is underway. Amongst the finest points in the book are his anguished defense of the rights of a creator to differ from the norm, to break with convention, and his proclamation that only those who attempt to escape the commonplace are assured of a permanent place in the annals of history; all the rest are second-handers, living on the carcasses of societal favor and opinion, incapable of changing when the times change, merely because they never possessed the merit in the first place.
Each and every idea emanating from this book is like an eternal message to the world, worthy of being engraved in each and every stone adorning our most decorated and most valued temples of human spirit and achievement. Howard Roark, from this day forth, shall symbolize to me, an indomitable spirit, a spirited soul, imbued with the values of truth, integrity and strength of character much beyond the grasp of imagination. Each message that Rand presents in this book is worth every word she expends on it, and worthy of a patient understanding, if not on the merits of the message itself, but for the salvation of the soul.
Before I end this blog, I cannot but help express my most exultant and eternal gratitude to my dear friend, Winny, whose incessant and sincere praise for this book finally led me to buying it, and I must say, her praise was fully justified not once, but many times over.

Lest we Forget!

Today marks the 61st anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz concentration camp by Soviet armed forces in 1945. While this may not have symbolized the end to hostilities or that of the war itself, it symbolizes something more humane, more stirring: the conclusion of one of the most horrific chapters in the history of the human race. I will not term it the most horrific, for greater horrors have been and continue to be perpetrated on people all over the world even to this date. The only difference between the Holocaust and these genocides is that the horror that the world felt in the case of the former has been sustained by a constant ‘Lest we forget’ campaign on the part of the Jewish populace, and quite rightly so.
Unfortunately, this campaign has become the focus of almost all anti-Semitic groups who even choose to ignore glaring historical evidences and deny the very occurrence of the Holocaust. The point behind ensuring that the world doesn’t forget that something as grotesque and inhuman as the virtual extermination of an entire race of people occurred in these modern times may have been to ensure that never again should a community be vilified or targeted solely because it is so, a community, united with the nation wherein it resides, yet distinct from the society in which it lives by way of its customs and traditions. The gross inaction on the part of the developed countries whilst the Nazi State prepared and implemented this dastardly plan is shocking and even unnerving to say the least. And yet given the way history has unfolded since then, one must feel no shock indeed, for the world rarely if ever has prevented the occurrence of such carnage; it finds it oh so very convenient to shed tears and offer its condolences, and maybe even launch armed invasions, much after over half of the targeted population has been wiped off the face of the earth.
If we were to evaluate the Holocaust itself, the German state had been, right from the time of the Prussian unity, an anti-Semitic society. France displayed her almost virulent hatred for Jews in the form of the Dreyfus Affair. Russia also was a prominent anti-Semitic state, given to small, yet significant pogroms of its own, which were conveniently hidden from the glare of public opinion. The English, who prided themselves to be a nation based on morals and values, somehow condemned the entire Jewish race for the Sin of Calgary and ignored the obvious signs emanating from Germany. Of the United States, one must remark that their splendid policy of isolation was more out of a desire of self-preservation, rather than out of a genuine desire not to take sides. They opined that once the world falters and collapses under the weight of its quarrels, they, being the only strong nation left, would be the obvious choice to rule the earth.
And so came about to be the Holocaust. And so come about to be many more Holocausts even to this date. The wars in Somalia, Rwanda, Ivory Coast, and other African countries have taken maybe more lives than the entire count of the victims of the Holocaust, but sadly, the victims did not belong to the same community, for otherwise this community would have issued its own ‘Lest we Forget’ campaign, and kept reminding the human race that it still has a long way before it achieves the zenith of achievement. The Rape of Nanking and other war crimes committed by the Imperial Japanese forces during World War II are no less gruesome, if not horrific, but somehow they have been buried beneath the dust of history. The systematic attempts at the annihilation of the Bangladeshi Hindu population, and the Kashmiri Pandits are horrors the world has somehow decided it doesn’t even want to confront.
Merely commemorating this day as a day of mourning and remembrance for all those who died in the Holocaust will not do. The world has to become more proactive, and must comprehend that when it comes to human lives, when it comes to the existence of a community, if a State threatens its own people, the rest of the world has the right to intervene, and command the State to cease such activity. This in no way compromises the sovereignty of the State concerned, as the sovereignty of a nation flows from its people, and if even a subset of these people are denied basic human rights, such sovereignty is blemished, and accursed, and should never be acknowledged by the world.

The Looking Glass

Once upon a time
In a place so like this one
There was a boy
So like some one of you.

Had he a mirror of his
A beautiful looking glass
Of crystal and sand
A diamond encased in gold

Saw he in it every day his own face
Until one day oh one fateful day
When a visitor came to
Bring a surprise to the child

Unbeknown to the child
The visitor was Cupid
And his gift, wrapped in Joy,
Were the sorrows of Love

And from that day
Saw the boy not his own visage
But that of a beautiful fairy,
An angel on the Earth

Forgot the boy his own face
Gave up he his memories
And gazed into the crystal
Seeking the fair maiden’s attentions

But alas!
The maid was but an fantasy
A mirage in the desert
A hallucination of a crazed mind

Now the boy gazes into the crystal resplendent
But sees no more he his face
Sees he the face of a stranger
A soul the Gods forsook
A heart an illusion broke

The dreams of Man

The dreams of Man
Resound in his heart,
Torment him in his days,
And trouble him in his nights.

The dreams of Man
Are foolish thoughts,
Desires for things,
Things beyond his reach,
Things which he may some day have.

The dreams of Man,
Why are they so naive?
Why do they lead him into temptation?
Into purgatory, beyond redemption?

The dreams of Man,
They are the most faithful servants of the Gods,
And the sworn allies of Morpheus
For in them dwells the Genius of Man.

The dreams of Man,
They are the stuff
The heavens are made of.
For in them is the faith of Man,
In them is the Love of Man.

The dreams of Man,
They live on hope,
And this world survives solely,
Because of the dreams of Man.

A coward's guilt

No matter how much an individual may seek to show that he/she is a soul endowed with the courage of the Gods, in the end it always comes to this that this ‘courage’ deserts them when they need it the most. From the time I started writing this blog, I comforted myself that expressing one’s feelings, one’s opinions requires a lot of courage, and this blog was a sort of symbol of mine.
And yet today, I sit like a monarch, over the ruins of his realm, a commoner, truly a ‘Common’ Man, and yet, I have no right to call myself a common man.
A few days back, I did something, something that I had wanted to do for the last six months, but never quite got around to doing it. I simply lacked the courage to face the consequences. Not that the wait helped in any way, because even now I am running from them. And somewhere down the line, I know I am going to regret this boorish behavior on my part. Those who know of what I am speaking must feel that I, by refusing to even face this obsession of mine (I hate to call it my obsession, it so demeans my act, but somehow ……), bring into doubt the very genuineness of my emotions, of my motives. I would have, in other circumstances, defended myself, but now, I cannot, because I am to blame. Had I not, in that moment of courage, derived from what impulse God alone knows, initiated these wheels of Time, I would not be in such a position today.
But then, I acted as I did, not because my patience was wearing out, but because I was becoming crazed by the thought of stopping myself from expressing myself. To have resisted the lure of the act any further would have affected me, in a manner far worse than what I display at present.
Maybe, the ones who know will find it in them to understand my fears, for these fears are not ordinary ones. Maybe they will find it possible to forgive me my behavior over the last two days. If they can’t, I grudge them not their feelings. They are entitled to them. As the new week starts, I will have to find the courage to face my fears, to face the consequences, whatever they may be, because delaying any further will harm me even more than the consequence that I fear.

Happy Birthday to You!

Today is the day to celebrate
The birth of someone very special:
Someone who continues
To bless the lives
Of so many others
Just by being there;
Someone who gives a smile,
A helping hand,
Caring, and concern.
Today is the birthday
Of someone who seeks to be
A person of trust
Who listens and advises;
Someone who is always there
When others turn away;
Someone who brings joy
Into the world;
And who is an inspiration,
A helper, and a friend.
Today is the birthday
Of someone very special
And dear to my heart.
And that someone is you, Purnima.
Happy Birthday to You!

Musings of the New Year

The new year has just started, and the fireworks have already begun. First of all, I had a most royal hangover from last night. Don't worry, I wasn't stocking up on any alcoholic drink (I couldn't even if I wanted to, the stuff makes me sick in the stomach). I just happened to have had stayed up a wee bit longer than I can handle, and viola, my body decides to teach me a lesson. Well, the hangover causes me to sleep through my alarm at 7. Nothing odd in that, except that this time, I have to be forcibly woken up at 8, whereas usually I do manage to come to my senses sometime around quarter to 8. Well, despite my best efforts, I couldn't leave mon chateau any time before 9.
Now, leaving the house at 9 is a strict no-no otherwise, because then there isn't a hell of a chance that I am going to make the 0915 lecture in college. And so I don't make it. And all my luck smiles at me, because the Good Professor is scheduled to take a double lecture, so here goes my 1015 lecture as well. What a wonderful start to a new semester!Now, having left the house on an empty stomach (usually that's impossible. Mother dearest does manage to coerce me into having at least a cup of coffee or even a banana before crossing the threshold. As coffee is on the banned list, and bananas were out of stock, so I managed to slip up the cordon), my head's splitting, very much. Still the 1130 lecture was bearable to say the least, so it just about subsided.1200, high noon, and I thought my troubles were behind me, when the Head of my Department (wonder who's the Tail?) calls me over, and in a very devious voice asks me to resubmit all my project progress reports stat. Not an easy thing to do, I assure you. Calls for an immense amount of creativity, especially since we have done so very little, and must show, at least on paper, to have done a lot. Somehow, I scribbled on some sheets of paper and tried to slip it past her, but no, the Good Lady wants it in printed form. Now, where on earth was I going to get a decent printer at such short notice?That's when the Fates decided they had tested me enough. The Good Lady relents and asks me to submit the printed reports tomorrow, and I am the happiest man on the earth, literally speaking. The day has gone well thereafter. My headache's subsided. Had some very delectable (and sinful too) Butter Chocolate Almond Fudge, as also some very nice Feni (not the drink, the sweet one eats with milk and sugar). The reports are done and ready to be submitted. Life ho to aisi, eh?

Viva la 2006!

The New Year’s started, and it’s resolution time again. Every year, the same sham, a mockery of the solemnity of the occasion, a charade of the most deplorable order!
Just kidding.
I love making resolutions, if only to break them within the next two months. Only this time, I am planning to seriously live up to at least some of them. It’s a short list, not too fancy, but definitely achievable.
Number one on the list has been there for quite some time there. I really need to lose some flab. Not that my mirror’s complaining; it’s just that I am no longer resembling a baby elephant. I am starting to look like an adolescent blue whale. Clothes also are a problem sometimes, as departmental stores usually resemble Delhi after the raids by Nadir Khan and Timur, once I have visited them. The tailor chuckles with glee whenever I approach his shop; maybe he’s muttering, ‘Here comes my ticket to Malaysia.’ So, weight reduction is en mission premiere.
Secondly, I have decided to give up on something that I wasn’t exactly addicted to, but yes, I did like it. I will be going veggie this year. Of course, I may partake of cakes, even if they contain eggs, but that too only if I am really tempted beyond the point of no return. Fortunately, this won’t be a new experience for me, as I did attempt going veggie and managed to survive nearly 10 months. Let’s see whether 2006 will allow me to go the whole way.
Next on the list of the guillotine are le café et le the, i.e. coffee and tea. Believe me; ever since I have joined SIES (2000), I have become addicted to coffee. In fact, I acquired my taste for coffee and tea in SIES. I do think I must be gulping down at least three – four cups of either on a normal day. When I have a cold, and that happens very often, the quanta may increase by two or more. For all the good that they do, the twain must go nevertheless. Their place shall be taken by soups and Bournvita/Boost/Horlicks.
Last but not the least, I hope to be able to do some regular study at least in this semester, meaning regular notes, assignments to be completed within two days of their being given (the same goes with journals), and completing my godforsaken project well before time.
Hope I am able to do everything on this list; if not everything, even achieving the first and the last will do just as well.